“Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? What color scheme do you want for the wedding? How many guest will we have?….” The questions and decisions are endless, but what if you find yourselves having different preferences on something. In facing this challenge you will have three options: you can be stubborn and insist until you get your way, surrender to the other person’s wishes, or both of you can compromise.
You are probably thinking you don’t like the idea of compromise because it sounds like neither will get what you want. Be assured that compromise need not to be a lose-lose proposition not if you do it the right way. Compromising is a vital skill for a happy and long lasting marriage. Therefore it requires to work as a team, having an open mind and willing to self-sacrifice. You might be used to making unilateral decisions, but now you will have to work as a team. And one way of strengthening your bond as a team is brainstorming.
Ecclesiastical 4:9 “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their hard work.”
When you start discussing your preferences or ideas make sure to use a pleasant tone because the chances of reaching a peaceful compromise are much higher.
Colossians 3:12 “Clothe yourselves with….compassion, kindness, humility, mildness, and patience.”
But what if you see that your conversation escalates into a heated argument. Step back and ask yourself, “Am I only speaking of my wants, my desires?” Maybe you are more focused on where your views differ and not on what views you agree on. So strive to look for a common ground because even though you don’t always have to agree with everything your future spouse has to say, you have to be honestly open to considering his or her position.
Philippians 2:4 “As you look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
When love and respect flow freely both will be willing to consider the other’s viewpoint. And this is why compromising will be a vital skill that will be help your marriage last a life time.
Ephesians 5:33 “Nevertheless, each one of you must love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.”
1Corinthians 13:4-8”Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous…does not look for its own interests…it bears all things…Love never fails…”
Claudin (EGE Team)